|
Two Line Joke |
|
Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental! |
|
Two Line Joke |
|
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive." |
|
Two Line Joke |
|
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
"I love you a ton!" |
|
|
|
 |
Dictionary of Dating
DAT ING:
The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to
get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in
the present and
will learn to like a lot less in the future.
INDIFFERENCE
A woman's feeling toward a man that is interpreted by the man as
"playing hard to get."
ATTRACTION:
The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
SOBER
A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love
http://www.jokesaboutvalentinesday.com/dictionary-of-dating.html
|
| |
| |
Economist's
Valentine's Day Cards
Top economist Valentine's Day
Cards
4. You raise my interest rate thirty basis points without a
corresponding drop-off in consumer enthusiasm.
3. Let's raise housing starts together.
2. You stoke the animal spirits of my market.
1. Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you.
http://www.jokesaboutvalentinesday.com/economists-valentines-day-cards.html |
| |
| |
|
A Thoughtful Gift
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife
anything for Valentine's Day.
"Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist,
"I've bought her a belt and a bag."
"That was very kind of you," Jim added, "I hope she appreciated
the thought."
Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum
cleaner will work better now."
http://www.jokesaboutvalentinesday.com/a-thoughtful-gift.html |
| |
| |
Valentine's Q and
A
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they had an apple.
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
http://www.jokesaboutvalentinesday.com/valentines-q-and-a.html |
| |
| |
|
 |
| |
| |
|
|
|
Things Not to Say on Your Valentine's Date
|
|
1.I
never said you NEED a nose job.
I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
2.
I used to come here all the time with my ex.
3.
It's been tough, but I've come to accept that
most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.
4.I
really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use
this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
|
|
 |
