One Liners What did the paperclip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
What did the stamp say to the envelop? I'm stuck on you.
What did the snake say to his lover? Give me a little hug and hiss.
What happens when you fall in love with a French chef? You get all buttered up.
What did the light bulb say to the switch? You really turn me on.

Knock-Knock Jokes

 Knock, Knock.  Who's There?   Olive.   Olive who?    Olive YOU!
Knock, Knock.  Who's There?   Howard.    Howard Who?   Howard you like a big kiss?
Knock, Knock.  Who's There?   Sherwood.   Sherwood Who?    Sherwood like to be your Valentine!
Knock, Knock.  Who's There?   Pooch.   Pooch Who?   Pooch your arms around me baby!
Story Jokes  
Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learnt about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is celebrated for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone else a valentine?"
David's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," David says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden?" his father asks in shock.
"Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride and says, "David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines shoot him!"
 
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said

That evening, her husbanc came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - only to find a bood entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."